A sibling can be a lifelong friend, but sometimes they get off to a rocky start. Big brother or sister may see the new baby as an attention stealer and a little jealousy is not uncommon. These simple ways to get your child ready for their new big kid role can help lessen the sibling rivalry.
Start getting your child ready for the new baby around the second trimester. At this point, there is less chance of miscarriage, but still plenty of time to make adjustments. When talking about the baby, always refer to it as “our baby”. This helps your older child feel like a part of an expanding family. She will form a bond with the baby early on as she shares in the anticipation.
For a toddler, begin reading books about babies coming into the family and talk about the baby. Show her your growing stomach and talk about the growing baby inside. Though she may not completely understand, she’ll start to get a general sense that a baby is coming. Imitation and role playing is also good for children this age. Introduce a special baby doll while you’re pregnant or when the baby is born.
Older children may enjoy helping you shop for the baby or prepare the baby’s room for his arrival. Giving children a special responsibility helps them feel a part of caring for the new baby. Don’t shut out older siblings, but allow them to help in age appropriate ways with rocking, feeding, or changing diapers.
If having a new baby involves shifting bedrooms or moving to a big kid bed, make this change at least six weeks before the baby is born. Your child is then less likely to feel the baby kicked him out.
Expect children to regress a little. Toilet trained children may start wetting their pants, toddlers may want to drink from a bottle or suck on the binky. Older children may ask for help with tasks they know how to do on their own. The new baby is getting a lot of attention, the big sister or brother may looking for a little more. Don’t scold or be critical, but sit down with your child and talk about his feelings.
Help your children talk through any negative feelings. Bottled up feelings, may came out in anger or aggression towards the baby.
Explain that babies, need lots of care and attention. Show your child pictures of herself as a baby and assure them she too was treated like a princess upon arrival. Show her a few special gifts she received.
Point out things your big kid can now do because he is not a newborn, like sitting on Mom’s lap for a story or playing on the slide at the park. Set aside one-on-one time for you and your child without the baby. Even a few minutes will make a big difference.
Reinforce your love for big brother or sister through special treats, notes, lots of hugs and the three most important words, “I love you.”
For more tips on getting children ready for baby’s arrival, visit ivillage .
